Still Here, Still Black

Its been awhile since last we spoke guys. The past year has easily been the most difficult one I have ever experienced. I have witnessed the slander of my professional name(and loss of employment), the ending of my marriage, declining health, and perilous financial difficulties. However, I am still here and still black.  Despite these occurrences, I am profoundly grateful for them. My faith tells me that in my weakness God’s strength becomes evident.  There’s something cathartic about loss. In losing so many things this year, I have come to realize what holds real value in my life. Life shouldn’t be measured by the acquisition of material things or fanciful objects that nourish our physical desires. Life is better measured by the deeds we perform in service to others. I could spend time wallowing in the depths of despair or I could move forward and embrace life. Out of the myriad of things that I have lost in the last year, I still(by the grace of God) have woken up every day and this ol’ brown skin hasn’t washed off yet! I am still here and still black. I have spent most of this year asking myself questions trying to figure out who I am/what my purpose is. There’s something about wide-scale loss that makes you ask those sorts of questions. I am an Afrikan-American man with a passion for disseminating historical information(especially regarding Afrikan people across the Diaspora). That has not changed. I have at times questioned the value of what I do and whether my efforts were futile or not. Alas, passion is passion. I can no more change my passion than a leopard changing its spots. I guess I’m writing this post with the hopes that it may help someone who is struggling with loss themselves. As I stated, after all that has occurred this year two things have not changed: 1) I am still here. My continued life and presence on this planet demand that God still has a plan for me to accomplish. This plan is ultimately for the benefit of others not myself. 2) I’m still black. I am still me. I am still who I was created to be. So friends if you find yourself lost or struggling to find calm amidst the storm be assured that joy comes in the morning. Sometimes you have to be grateful in the middle of your struggle and not just when your struggle is over! It is through our adversities that wisdom is acquired. I pray this post finds you in peace, love, and happiness.


P.S. I am unapologetically a Christian and have no problems speaking, referencing, or writing about my faith. I will not cast stones on anyone else’s beliefs or faith and ask the same courtesy in return. Thanks a bunch!


3 thoughts on “Still Here, Still Black

  1. Love reading your stuff, and glad you’re back.

    Just a question that your post put in my mind and heart: What would it mean if I told my readers that I was “still white”? Granted, the history of most Caucasians isn’t steeped in suffering and persecution. But I find little of my present identity in my “whiteness.” Just a thought.

    Thank you for seeing God’s strength move into your trials – I hope that you find fruit from your faith even now.

    • Thanks for the gracious comments. I understand your sentiment and appreciate you bringing it to my attention. I guess the overall intent of that phrase was to convey that I’m still “me”. Still proud and moving forward. I think I could have worded that a bit differently though. God is awesome and I am grateful for his presence in my life. Peace and blessings to you and yours. BTW, if you have any thoughts on future topics/issues you’d like to see let me know! Have a great one!

      • All respect, as you are going through a period of suffering that is no doubt producing character in you. I’m fascinated by the way that we, as Americans, both include and exclude our race as an element of our identity. I teach high school English, and as I’ve discussed these topics with my students they have said that I “act black” or talk like “I’m black” – an observation that says more about them than me. What does it mean to be “black” vs. “white”? Do these adjectives bear any meaning at all anymore? I love questions like these because they drive us towards a more graceful and respectful American (and global) community. I feel like your blog is a great part of that drive.

        Thank you!

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